


Talk To Yourself

by terribleCoder



Category: hiimmarymary (Web Series)
Genre: Abandoned Work - Unfinished and Discontinued, Beating, Depression, Gen, Nightmares, Self-Hatred
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-05
Updated: 2020-10-05
Packaged: 2021-03-08 04:08:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 936
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26839480
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/terribleCoder/pseuds/terribleCoder
Summary: Metaphorically describes a worsening mental health by describing it as graphic injuries and torture. Yeah, every himm fanfic so far is a vent piece. Discontinued
Collections: Whumptober 2020





	1. Internalize

Mary lost her sense of time. She'd run and hide on the kitchen for what felt like days and wake up in the living room. Weeks spent not seeing the sun because she's only awake when shadows are chasing her. Mary's nightmares are all about Beauty and Veiled Lady dragging her to the basement. It feels uncomfortably real. But Mary doesn't see any bruises left from the encounter. Maybe her waking life is already surreal in the first place

Which is why Mary is avoiding sleep this time. She watched her tapes over and over until her eyes felt raw and burned. They say blue light prevent sleep. Exercise too. Mary circles around the living room until she got out of breath. She sits down on the couch, tired. Her eyelids are getting heavy.

No, not now. Mary doesn't want this. She begged to herself. Give me a few more minutes without her!

Mary tried to heave herself up, but sleep already overtook her body.

_Glass shards everywhere. In the closet, under the bed, on Mary's feet. She limped to the bathroom to find the first aid kit. Her bathroom mirror is of course, shattered. Mary felt freezing hands gripping at her neck._

Mary wakes up screaming. A dark hole is pressing on her body like a blanket. It stuck. Suffocating. Mary flailed around the room. She runs into a wall and fell face first into a smooth surface. Pain erupts. Her skin crawls at how cold it is. Glass. Mary tastes copper in her tongue. Blood trickles from her nose. The darkness begin to dissipate. It's still difficult to see, but the suffocating cloud is out of her head and now she can make out where she is from the outlines of the furniture. She's in the living room.

Mary runs to closest stair she could find. She left her flashlight by the bed. Her feet bumped with the couch and coffee table before finding her way to the door. With her hand outstretched, she half-run while holding on to the walls. It was a futile attempt to make sure she won't be outrunned by her monsters.

The Veiled Lady crouched on the stairs. Mary didn't see her. She was only trying not to fall on the stairs. All of a sudden, something yanked her legs and Mary's head meets hardwood floor.

"Mary..." Veiled Lady crawls from the top of stairs. Her cracked distorted voice sends a shiver throughout. Her gait was unnatural, limbs bend and twist at the wrong angles. Mary scrambles at the floor. Running is impossible.The house is spinning. She groaned in pain. Blood running down her eyes.

"Weak! You can't do anything."

Veiled Lady leaped to the bottom of the stairs. Mary couldn't do anything. The faceless woman pulled her leg and grab her by the hair. Mary's head dangles on the air. She crawled even closer, and bash Mary's head to the floor.

"You'll never be able to get away from me! Coward!"

"No. Stop, please-" Mary's words got cut off as the Covered Woman slammed her head again.

"Shut up! You deserve this."

"P-please, why are you doing this?" Mary tries to hold back the warm tears pooling at the corner of her eyes.

"Stupid bitch! I told you before. You. Existed."

"I don't understand! Please just-"

"QUIET!"

Veiled Lady, still with her hands grabbing Mary's clump of hair, drag her to the bottom of the staircase. The blood on her face is dripping to the floor. Mary is sobbing now. Alternating between screams and pleads.

"Repeat after me," Veiled Lady leans toward Mary's ear, "I am worthless, I don't deserve happiness."

"I don't deserve-"

"Wrong!" The Veiled Lady drag Mary's face on the bloodied floor like a mop rag. "Do it again."

"It hurts. Ple-"

"Please, stop, I'm sorry. Cry and beg. That's all you're good at. Pathetic. You don't deserve to even have a mouth!"

"I'm sorry. Uh, I-i am worthless."

"And?"

"I don't deserve happiness."


	2. Inner Voice

The lamps are slowly dimming, Mary is sure of that. She'd been staring at it for hours. At first the light burns at her corneas, leaving red spots on everything she sees. That's a good sign. Means she could eat, sleep, act like a normal person. Pretending won't get her anywhere, though. Days passed and Mary's nightly terrors are creeping into the day. Her sleep have been cut short by nightmares. Eating is a chore. Bathing is almost impossible. There's dear mirror waiting near the shower.

Mary's been recording and writing her experiences, hoping someone would get her out of the house. Zero views. Time passed with no one looking at her pleas. The outside world hasn't been welcoming either. She'd scream at the window for hours, hoping someone would pass by.

_What's the point? They want you to shut up_

Mary jumped at the sound. It's still day! How did she-

_You're a waste of life. Worthless piece of shit_!

Auditory hallucination. The Veiled Lady had left her mark. Even when she's not there, Mary could hear The Veiled Lady belittling everything she does. Mary look around while she runs to the kitchen. This time she'll be prepared. Mary grabs a knife. Back facing the wall, eyes are fixed to the ceiling.

"I'm ready!"

_Fucking idiot, you can't even hold a knife._

The lights went out. Mary shrieks. Somebody pushed her from behind. Laughter echoes from around the room. Mary's footsteps echoes as she scramble to find her knife. The Veiled Lady leans toward her, cocking her head to the side as if smiling.

"You can't fight me, Mary."


End file.
